1. Di Hook – Yuh Ever Pass Deh So Yet?
Mi haffi ask unnu straight—yuh ever drive pon di North Coast Highway, reach ‘round Ochi, and see dem big pretty scheme a sprout up like callaloo inna rainy season? Well, di latest one weh everybody chat ‘bout a Paradisiac Beach Club up a Llandovery, St. Ann.
Dem advertise it like heaven pon earth—private beach, marina, townhouse weh look like dem drop straight outta HGTV. Plus, dem claim yuh only one hour from Kingston or MoBay.
But mi naw lie—mi waan know… is dis really fi we Jamaicans, or jus’ one next uptown, foreigner-target kinda ting?
2. Wah It Really Is – Di Rundown
Paradisiac deh between Drax Hall an’ Discovery Bay, and di whole place dress up wid luxury. Dis nuh jus’ “a house”—it a lifestyle package dem a sell.
Features weh dem push pon brochure:
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Private beach weh yuh nuh haffi fight crowd fi use
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Marina an’ jetty fi di yacht people
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Swimming pool dem like hotel
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Tennis, basketball, an’ golf putting course
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Jogging track fi yuh early morning sweat
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Commercial plaza wid supermarket, doctor, lounge, restaurant—all inna walking distance
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Two clubhouses, kids play area, plus 24/7 security
3. Star of di Show – The Onyx Townhouse
Di big hype unit dem call The Onyx come wid:
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3 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom
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Central AC fi beat di St. Ann sun
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Stainless steel kitchen gear—dishwasher, microwave, pot filler, di whole works
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Smart lock, energy-saving light
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Garage an’ private backyard
Pon paper, mi cya deny—it look madd. But we know seh brochure pretty an’ reality different, so mi dig deeper.
4. Di Real Talk – Wah People inna St. Ann A Seh
Mi reason wid some real estate link an’ some bredrin weh live near deh so:
Marlon (Ochi real estate man):
“Luxury scheme like dis? Diaspora love it. Foreign money deh yah strong.”
Tanya (returnee from Florida):
“Mi live Drax Hall already, but dis nicer. Mi can reach MoBay or Kingston easy, an’ mi get mi quiet beach too.”
Kemar (contractor from St. Ann’s Bay):
“Mi like di place, but dem kinda development a push up rent an’ land price. Regular man cya buy.”
Mi side wid Kemar partly—yes, it good fi tourism an’ foreign investment, but wi haffi balance wid affordable housing fi locals.
5. Gentrification or Growth?
Paradisiac a bring new kinda lifestyle to di North Coast—one weh used to lock up inside hotel walls. Now private citizens can own it. But it also risk creating “uptown bubble” weh separate local life from di pretty beachfront.
Some people seh it progress—others seh it squeeze out small man. Truth is, both coulda right.
6. Who Dis Really Fi?
From mi observe:
✅ Diaspora investors a grab fast
✅ Airbnb hosts smell profit
✅ Middle-class wid remittance or family overseas might scrape tru
❌ Young professionals pon local pay? Rough road
Plus, beware:
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Property tax a go higher wid upscale title
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HOA fees might shock yuh
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Climate risk pon beachfront
7. Why It Could Still Worth It
If yuh have di funds or smart investment plan, it coulda pay off:
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Location near big attractions (Ochi, Dunn’s River, Mystic Mountain)
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Perfect fi retirees, remote workers, or digital nomads
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Units can rent fi US$250+ a night pon Airbnb
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Security tight, community clean
8. Mi Final Word – Choose Wisely
Paradisiac can be di sweet life or a fancy burden, depend pon yuh situation.
If yuh a:
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Returnee weh want easy landing
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Investor looking fi Airbnb income
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Dreamer saving fi retire pon di beach
…then go check it. But memba—luxury nuh cheap, an’ legacy nuh happen by chance. Visit, ask questions, read di fine print.
9. Yuh Turn – Mek Wi Reason
Yuh woulda live deh? Or rather build yuh own spot inland an’ drive come beach?
Drop yuh thoughts—wi waan hear wah real Jamaicans tink.
Written by: Juboy – Real Talk Blogger, Yaad Living Advocate, Tech-Ting Analyst
Sources:
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Paradisiac Beach Club official site
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Loop Jamaica Real Estate
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Interviews wid St. Ann residents an’ agents
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